I never thought when I wrote this a month ago that I would be put to the test to stand through a tsunami of a storm on what I’d written. On June 30th, I boarded the flight to Boston with great expectations of having an exciting anniversary weekend, spending the week with my husband and enjoying July 4th in the city where so much of our U.S. history resonates. It started out just that. An exciting weekend enjoying the sites of Boston. But then on Monday, my world was turned upside down. I got “that call”. The one that every woman over 40 fears. The call that says something in your mammogram was inconclusive and you need to return for further testing. I tell you, my first reaction was not holy. I went immediately into panic, then fix it mode. I tried to get on the next flight back to Dallas no matter what the cost. But that was not to be. See below my own words of encouragement a month ago and then my experiences as I was put to the test of weathering the biggest storm of my life to date.
1) Seek shelter. In a similar situation, David said, “In the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge until these calamities pass”. Psalms 57. Where do you seek refuge when storms come?
After realizing that I could not get back to Dallas for a Tuesday morning appointment, I had to resolve myself that I was going to have to wait this out. The waiting….oh my God the waiting and the uncertainty! I found myself seeking shelter in the only one that could protect me and I called on Him daily to let this bitter cup past me by. I remembered when I was a road warrior, on a plane every week and my dear friend, Soror Robbie Odame Lartey would pray Psalms 91 over me for my safety and protection. Therein I rested.
2) Be still. In the country when storms came, the old folks used to say, “child sit still, the Lord is moving”. In those same Psalms (Psalms 46) we are encouraged to “Be still, and know that I am God”. Sometimes we just need to be still. We wear ourselves out trying to “fix it”. We make ourselves sick worrying about it. It is very hard to do, but what we should do is just be still and let HIM move.
Since I could not get to Dallas on Tuesday. I made plans to return on Sunday. But that was not to be either. Storms in Dallas and storms in Boston. Cancelled flights. I finally got out of Boston on Monday, only to be delayed in New York. I was at my wits end. I was being forced to be still and trust in Him. I surrendered to His will and prepared myself to go through whatever His will was to be.
3) Find your battery pack. One of the first things I did when I realized it looked like we were going to be without power for awhile is to find my battery pack for my phone. Heaven forbid if we should lose all power on our phone! Gosh, what would we do? Well most of us have those little battery packs and chargers for just such an occasion. When storms come I find that I have to rely on past prayers answered, lessons learned in bible studies and sermons, and just opening up The Book to be reminded that He will never leave us nor forsake us. When storms come in your life, you’ve got to have a backup power source to rely on. Sometimes all you can do is fall on your knees and call on Him. But remember, you’ve probably been through storms before. Remember how He brought you through. Hold on to that.
As I started to wear myself out worrying and playing the “what if” game in my head, I remembered a bible study that Jada Edwards did on “The Captive Mind”. We were taught to “take every thought captive”. Every time a frightening thought would come in my mind, I would literally capture it and replace it with a positive one. I remembered that my husband had been through a similar situation earlier in the year and how we praised God when the doctor gave him the all clear with “we found no cancerous polyps” and we shouted “None?” and the doctor repeated “None”. “None” became our mantra. So when fearful thoughts would pop in my head, I would capture it and silently whisper “None!”. I also remembered a scripture search I’d done on fear. I went to those and remembered to cast all my fears on Him. I remember reading that 90% of what we worry about never happens. Then I remembered the “Circle Maker” bible study we’d done. The prayers we’d asked and the answers we’d received. I prayed these scriptures asking again and again that this bitter cup would pass me by. I thank God for all the prayers answered and the scriptures that He brought to remembrance that gave me that peace that surpassed my understanding. A calm that I could never have imagined I would have.
It seems that storms can last forever. We keep praying and hoping and praying and hoping and it seems like no one is listening. Nothing changes. You get weary and lose hope. But that tiny string of faith keeps you holding on. Then just like that…..the sun comes out! Hallelujah!!
That Tuesday morning, I prayed a final prayer of surrender to His will and I walked calmly into the diagnostic center. They took one test. I waited. And waited some more. They came in and said I needed to do another test. Again, I waited. Then just like that the doctor came in and said “you’re fine”. Now ya’ll know if that doctor and nurse had not heard about Jesus, they did that day!! Hallelujah !!!!
Now I know this is not the ending to everyone’s story that goes through this. We all have lost far too many friends and loved ones to this dreadful disease that is the plague of our time. Let me be clear. I do not believe in the “claim and name it” false teaching. That is not what His word teaches. I know that God does not say “yes” to every prayer that we ask. But for me, for “this” storm, the Lord showed me mercy and I am forever thankful. My Hallelujah Belongs to HIM!
Happy Sunday Saints!